Denmark - Copenhagen

Fuckin A man. What a cool town. If it was closer and warmer it would be spectacular. But it’s not, it’s Copenhagen. Let’s talk walking and biking. It’s the only way. It’s impressively common. Bikes EVERYWHERE. Bike lanes, bike racks, and not as many bike locks as you would expect (to be fair a lot of the bikes are beat as shit). PLUS, pedestrian friendly like mad. There are streets and streets of pedestrian thoroughfares (they call this winding patch of roads the stroget) (not to mention the canals but they were less interesting to me than other canal cities). When I arrived I was almost immediately thrust into a major square where they were having a concert which I am pretty sure was some sort of arian rally. I think the word fascist is similar across all languages, haha. The square was cool and it connected one side of the stroget to the other side, which is forever far and contains the city hall building and all that shit. Anyway, cool. The side streets off the stroget are where it’s truly at though I think. Many more boutique stores and tiny hole in the wall restaurants. There are squares and nooks and crannies to be found all around. It’s amazingly sweet. I would’ve been happy just strolling around these “stroget” areas the entire time.

So they have great restaurants. Like much of the major northern cities the cuisine is more international at this point than anything else (fast casual and kabob up the butt as well, kabob being the national dish of Europe, haha), but obviously there is a seafood lean. I went to this fantastic Danish spot called Kodbyens Fiskebar. It was in the middle of nowhere, and I mean the street it was on was not on my map, literally, and it was raining, and it was dark, and the area was shady mcgrady, honestly I’m pretty proud of myself for making it, but the recommendation was good so I was on a mission. Sat at the bar next to an idiot who thought facebook was more interesting than her food, but it was not, and I was not to be deterred. The trout starter was amazing. Served chunky tartar style with so many dollops of fantastic to dip in to. They also have a sick squid dish, flattened and grilled and perfect. The main was blue mussels, which were highly recommended but I kind of thought they were meh. Great service, great wine, great meal and experience. To be honest, I did try to get a reservation at Noma, but laughably failed.

Speaking of rain, its common there, so common there that when it begins raining, people don’t seem to bat an eyelash. They continue on their merry way like nothing is happening. That’s not to say that the umbrellas don’t come out when it gets heavy, but the beginning of rain was hardly noticed by most of the people around. Crazy. It may sound weird, but I felt more experienced having been there when it rained.

My hotel (SP34) was actually pretty hip and a had a sweet burger bar in it, often times my favorite, serving 100% Danish Prime beef, though their prime is just normal I think. The place was boomin and really good. If the service was bangin I would have been very impressed with the spot. I’ve actually found that burger bars have inundated Europe, and Copenhagen is no exception. They are everywhere. Most are crappy though, this one was not.

So everyone says you have to go to Tivoli, so I did. If I was 10 it would have been amazing, but alas, I am not. This theme park is old world Europe with some new action mixed in. It’s nice to stroll around and I actually had a very nice breakfast with some sick bread. I feel like everywhere in Copenhagen had sick bread. It’s like a loaf/bun hybrid and usually wheat-ish. The Fiskebar served it with herb butter…oooooohhhhh it was good. Tivoli actually has a ton of restaurants and even some Michelin rated ones, surprising for a park like this, but it’s in the city center and very much a focal point. It’s about 15 bucks to get in and then the rides are extra.

I should mention the train ride to Denmark from Germany…pretty sick. Not only are the views amazing, but your train literally rides on a ferry boat for 45 or so minutes (you get off the train and hang deck side). The ferry itself was meh but it was fun either way you slice it.

Anyway, cool city. The city center is reasonably packed in and walking around on a nice day is perfect. Canals are cool as ice as well.

Notes to self:

-The Nimb hotel in Tivoli is where I should’ve stayed. My place was cool, but this place is cool-er-er.
-Copenhagen does have a small red light district but it was sparse and it seemed trashy. I was definitely not into it.

SP34 Copenhagen - May 2015

I mean, this hotel is cool. Don’t get me wrong. It’s modern, and it’s hip, and it’s fun, but man they miss the mark with the rooms. How could I stay here again?! Why have I been forsaken!

The reviews online will tell you that the rooms are small. I cut this off at the pass by booking a superior double (a full 4 levels above their standard)…I failed. My room was small as shit. If I wasn’t alone it would have been an honest challenge to move around, stay on the bed honey, I’m going to get something. My room (I did confirm its category) was on the 1st floor (one floor above lobby level) and had giant bay windows looking right out on the street. This is great? Like, everyone who walks by can see me? Ok, I’m game but I can’t be held responsible for scaring small children.

Annnnndddddd, there is…zero room service, zero mini bar, not so much as a bottle of water was in that room, zero pay per view (they supposedly have some internet web tv type service but it did not work at all), and to top it off, there was literally no temperature control in the room. I mean fuck. Fuuucccckkkk. The bathroom was modern-ish, but it was small. And they did have hardwood floors. Even though it was small, overall the room was cool looking. So it wasn’t all doom and gloom. I just wanted a little of that hip 1st level amenity action to transfer upstairs.

So, love the hotel, hate the hotel!

The facade is minimalist as shit, which was modern and nice. The lobby is cool with a couch lounge area and a wine bar that sold bottles to take to the room. They even had a Kimpton style daily wine hour from 5 to 6. They have 2 very hip restaurants that both have bars (I checked out the burger bar and was super happy, except for the ass crack service). The location of the hotel was pretty sweet for me. Right on a side street from the Stroget. Walking distance to just about anything and on a street that had some character.

Notes

-250 bones too, for the room with nothing.