Germany - Munich
I fly all the time but I hate flying. I don’t like planes. Well, maybe that’s not fair. Maybe I love planes. I love the idea of business class and first class. I love the idea of having a food and drink menu while you travel. I love the idea of a pre flight lounge and the cool camaraderie you can find while getting drunk at the airport bar (even though I find those “restaurants” to be woefully short on creativity, inventory, service, style, and general competence…though if you work at one of them and are reading this, I obviously do not mean you). Hell, I even love the physics of flying itself. I think the fact that we have mastered flying through the air is almost magical. Maybe what I don’t like is death, and my assumption that it would be only natural to die while flying through the air at 600 miles an hour in what could best be described as a metal coffin. Surely this isn’t the way god intended it. In any case, god if you are up there, I have always hoped for one thing, when that fireball finally rushes through the oxygen infused pressurized cabin that I’m in, let it happen on my return flight. Don’t leave me hanging with what my trip might have been.
Anyway, I think I had a point, oh yes, Munich. So while I had a large and somewhat modern plane, a very nice seat, and plenty to drink, I still didn’t sleep much on my overnight flight from DC. I arrive in Munich exhausted but also positively motivated. My agenda is quick…beer, sausage, maybe some sort of an oompah band, then try to catch up on this looming jet lag problem. My hotel is perfectly located next to the Marien-platz so I set off immediately. Beer gardens are everywhere and I’m actually surprised at how different they are from the states. We call a picnic table on a patio a “beer garden”, they call it a giant space filled with communal tables, multiple beer and food vendors, waiters everywhere, and sometimes some live music. It’s pretty perfect. So I grab my liter of beer, I buy some white sausage, I embrace the scene, and then I hit the hardest brick wall ever. A case of red bull could not have saved me. My iron covered mattress was no match for this desire…
My coma is short lived however, I get up and race out to get drunk in this city where I am most definitely supposed to get drunk in. I find myself at the Hofbrau House after some vodkas at a slightly too-trendy-for-what-I-want-to-be-Munich bar. Hofbrau is amazing. Huge and festive and the beer was great. They only had the late night menu available so I had to randomly choose from a small selection. Sausage salad sounded just about perfect, speaking from a “want to be German” perspective. Gross as shit though. Bowl of oil, some radish, and different types of sausage swimming around. I fight through though cause the waiter recommended it…but maybe he just thought I was an asshole. Anyway, a few liters later I’m feeling rather capital, so as I’m walking around I find what appears to be a German gentleman’s club. The man at the door says the magic words…”no cover”, so I’m in before he got the “r” out.
I am not the biggest fan of strip clubs mind you, but there are worse places in the world to spend an hour than watching beautiful naked women. I wouldn’t exactly call this a strip club though, more like a stripper lounge where they hit you up for what has to be the most expensive stripper drink I have ever seen. The cheapest one, no lie, was 70 dollars, I was actually quite baffled. Needless to say they didn’t fawn over me that night. I did somehow make friends with some Romanian dudes and since I was near enough to Austria at that point, I thought shots of Jager were in order…and I hate Jager. I suspected I might have been living the beginning of the movie Hostel, but luckily I did not wind up in a torture room on that particular evening.
Summary is…I had a fantastic time, but it was a tough city to do on the first day of this trip. Sausages, beer, good people, and an amazing pedestrian road filled with anything and everything, including some of the oldest buildings in Germany with astounding architecture. I would go back, but probably only for Oktoberfest.
Yup…I went back for Oktoberfest….so here goes.
You have never been to anything like Oktoberfest in munich. The sheer size of it all is simply amazing. The amount of people is simply amazing. The amount of beer and food and women! is simply amazing. I mean it is sort of indescribable. But in any case, don’t be me. You need to plan, at least a little bit. Get some reservations. It will help tremendously, unless you are still able to drink from 8am to 8pm, which I seem to always fail at ever since I turned 30. A reservation can get you in to the night session (which are way more fun) and at a certain time. No waiting in line forever to not even get a seat.
Oktoberfest is basically the biggest carnival you have ever seen with gigantic beer tents all around the grounds. You can only get beer inside the grounds of one of these tents. It is not true that you need a seat to get a beer, that is only true inside the tent, but outside they have giant unreserved areas that you can mill around in (prior to the big bouncers at the entrance of every tent) and get a beer, or 5. Speaking of which, liters are hard as shit to hold on to for any significant period of time. Maybe that’s why a seat is so desirable! They are huge, and heavy, and you drink much faster to make them lighter.
Around the grounds they also have a variety of wine bar stands. You can get a couple liquors and a few wines, but it is not a full bar by any stretch of the imagination. I did meet many cool people at these wine spots. You are just standing there, but they are great for people watching while you move from tent to tent.
Be careful when you go. The first day/night of Oktoberfest was madness. Madness. Once they shoot off those cannons and the crushing crowd you are already inside of lurches forward (the kegs don’t get tapped until the cannons sound) you will really understand how many people there really are. I mean it was hard to get anywhere, and there are a lot of places you will want to get.
It truly was an amazing time. Tons of beer, tons of beautiful women, more singing and cheering and hugging and patting and shaking than you have ever seen in one place. It’s the most festive feeling that I’ve ever seen or felt or experienced. I mean everyone is happy, what more do you want.
Notes to self:
-Did I mention giant pretzels!
Le Meridien Munich - Sep 2015
I am not going to say that I liked the Aloft more (it is right next door), but I really wish the Meridien had done more. It’s cool, but I don’t know if it’s in a different class as the Aloft, and it should be like 2 classes above it.
The room is bigger for sure, but I might argue that I like the bathroom less with its window like shower opening and a separate but small tub (now that I think about it, fuck that shower. what a dumbass design. water everywhere!). There aren’t many views to be had in this area but mine was of the courtyard nonetheless.
The TV was good and the pay per view was actually really decent. Honestly the adult area was pretty sweet and I may have gone for it if they had a 24 hour package or anything like that. The mini bar was empty…again. The room service was good though and they offered 24 hour stuff.
Notes
-The bar was popular but super small, and the lobby/lounge area was full every day.
-Nothing jumped out…340 euros opening oktoberfest night
Aloft Munich - Sep 2015
I like the Aloft brand and its attempt to be a toned down W quality wise, but toned up “hip” wise. It comes across as fun, young, and spartan. Maybe too spartan but it is supposed to be a cheaper brand.
The lobby in all of these places looks like something out of the real world. The front desk is supposed to look like a dj booth I think. In this case, they went all out. When I arrived the band was warming up, and this lobby wasn’t small, but it also was in no way the size of space where you want a full drum set. They did not fuck around let me tell you, and maybe that is why the lobby bar sat so empty for so long. I am not that old, it was just that loud.
The bar was highly unorganized and seemingly doing their damnedest to catch up for tomorrow’s opening of Oktoberfest. I mean what the hell were you doing the other 364 days? In any case this resulted in fairly crappy bar service, which means I didn’t sit there long.
The area is good, right across from the train station and literally about 5 blocks from Oktoberfest. Just perfect (and really only a short walk to the old parts as well).
The room itself, was bare. I really liked the bathroom with its open shower and sleek vanity. The bed was good too. The TV was big, and though they had many channels, it really didn’t work all that well and kept cutting off. The mini bar was empty, “on purpose” they say for our personal use…cute There was no pay per view and they only had room service for breakfast.
Notes
-I’d stay here again based on other hotels in the area (or lack thereof). Got a great rate of 130 euros as well, next door (where I stayed the next 2 nights) was going for 3 times that.
Hotel Schlicker - Oct 2013
This hotel was in the perfect location for me. It had fantastic people and the included breakfast was pretty sweet. As far as facilities go, as far as rooms go, as far as aesthetics go, let’s just say again that the people were very very nice and the location is fantastic. I was pleasantly surprised that they had a stocked mini bar. Other than that…ouch.