Seoul, it turns out, is not a tourist town…or not a tourist destination I should say…at least off season. The airport (Incheon for me but the 2 are somewhat equidistant) is a million miles from Seoul proper. The city itself is giant, with maybe the largest (and really most confusing) subway system I have ever encountered. There are no cool sights or even cool giant pedestrian or retail areas. I think I came here because I happen to be intrigued by Korean women…something about Korean women for me.

Santorini is a magical place. You know it right when you get off the ferry. When you see those white hill towns it quickly becomes clear that you could fall in love with it. So you have a choice, stay beach side and visit the cities, or stay in a city and visit the beaches. To me the choice is quite clear. While the beaches are magnificent, and the black volcanic sand is actually pretty cool, the magical part of Santorini is really Fira and Oia (pronounced Eea). These are the types of towns that you just don’t get to see very often.

Duuuuuuude. Duuude. You know that scene in Baseketball where the entire conversation consists of “dudes”, well this is the final dude in that conversation…dude. Vancouver is awesome. Why have I not been here before? Why have I not heard of this. I really don’t get it. I kind of feel like when I went to Stockholm, but this shit is way closer.

Saigon is a pretty cool city. It’s most definitely an “in the process” city, but I feel like they’ll work it out. The people are very nice, the girls are pretty, and the city center is quite walkable. It’s not overly communist like say mainland china, but you still definitely know that you are in a socialist world. The people ride motorbikes and scooters like it’s nobody’s business. I mean they are everywhere and they are in charge, no question. The streets are filled with little shops and there is street food everywhere

Totally unfair. Completely unfair. But I can’t go back. Sometimes all a city can get is one night of your time, of your attention, of your focus. Maybe it’s because you are on a cruise, maybe it’s because it’s a stop on a long way to somewhere else, maybe it’s a simple one night layover, like it was for me. Either way, you are deciding every time whether or not you would like to one day come back to that place and truly explore it further. For me, it’s a no.

I love the Virgin Islands. If I’m going to stay somewhere, its gotta be St John. The BVI’s each offer something unique, but St John is just perfect. Don’t stay on St. Thomas. It’s like a big city. St John is like a vacation, and you can hop over to everywhere from Cruz Bay.
What an amazing place. Just driving from Charlotte Amalie to Red Hook for the short ferry you realize you have made the right decision, and then you actually get to St John. It’s small, it’s quaint, and the people seem happy! Which isn’t so easy to come by in the Caribbean. They all say “land of the happy” and other silly slogans like that, but it’s often times trash talk.

Arriving in Venice is tough. I came on a train and was immediately thrust into one of the most confusing and amazing scenes one could imagine. They say that there is only one place you can get to easily in Venice…lost. And it’s so true. Though I learned that city quite well after lugging my bag over the apparently 10 thousand bridges one must cross to get to my hotel…probably should’ve checked that prior to arrival.

What an amazing place. I wouldn’t call it tropical island gorgeous, but the beach is big enough with chair service and plenty of active shit to do. The main road goes along the beach the entire way just like in Pattaya, so you don’t really get “beach” hotels if you want to be in the thick of things. I did see some pretty nice ones much further down from the center. The Patong district comprises many blocks rather than just one main street like in Pattaya.
While Pattaya has a terrible beach area with awesome nightlife, Phuket has both, with a giant beach and a giant walking street.

Flying in a BA 777 from IAD to Heathrow can be a pretty sweet experience first class. The lounge has everything, including a full sit down dinner, even though, as they keep reminding you, there will be another full sit down dinner on the plane. The seats themselves on the flight are modern and cozy as hell. The one complaint I might have is that the damn flight isn’t long enough. Not enough time for dinner, a movie, and even 4 hours of sleep. Ugh. First world problems.
Driving from Paris Orly to Bayeux was a huge mistake it turns out. Not only are you sort of drunk, and sort of exhausted, and sort of miserable, but it ain’t exactly a sweet drive either. Lots of highways. Basically looks like America.

Nice just isn’t all that nice. I do appreciate it because it has beaches, and it has cafes, and it has pedestrian avenues, I’m just not sure that anything it has is in any way better than what other sweet places have. First off, this is a city, it is not a beach town. Staying close to the beach can give off that impression, but a walk from the train station lets you know how much different this place is than say South Beach. I kind of like that it has multiple styles and areas, but at the time I was looking for something more Mediterranean focused. Let’s talk about the beach…holy shit does it suck.

What’s not to like about Paris?! Well, I could think of a few things, haha. I do happen to love this city. Walking the Champs E’lyses is a must. It’s long as shit. And exhausting. And many parts are boring. But man, it is a must. At worst, get a rickshaw. Fun stuff even though it seems like you are at deaths doorstep for the entire ride. I would say the restaurants on the Champs were formulaic, but the food was still good and eating patio style is always fun.We got lucky as when we arrived to the Louvre there was almost nobody waiting. We breezed through the line, then breezed right through this way too fucking large and complicated museum. I prayed for an escape while walking down many of those crowded, desperately long corridors. I’ve been at least 3 times and I’ve never gotten tired of being tired of it.

We weren’t even going to come to Naples, and I really ended up liking it. People say it’s dirty, people say it’s big, and they are right, but so what, lots of cities are like that and they still manage to be charming.
You learn pretty quickly what areas to stay away from, you can see them from a mile away (dark, depressing, etc). You learn pretty quickly that cabs will jack the shit out of you. You learn that pizza is absolutely everywhere and that walking around can get away from you quickly as you find that you are miles from your hotel.
They have a pedestrian avenue that I loved

I feel like whenever you google mykonos there are always pictures of santorini. I of course did not know that until this trip, but I suspect a lot of people go there with pictures of the wrong damn island in their head.
Now don’t get me wrong, mykonos has many beautiful parts, but it is nothing like santorini. It has no soaring mountains and cliff side towns that tickle your imagination. Mykonos also doesn’t have beaches like santorini does. Mykonos is really all about Mykonos Town and the southern pockets of beach towns.

There is nothing about Russian and American relations that cannot be explained by Burning Heart from Rocky IV, but nonetheless, I will try…
First things first, the high speed train from St. Petersburg to Moscow is the jam. All of the attendants are hot, they serve whatever you want, the seats are great, it might of been the best train trip I took this time…utterly unexpected (I was in business class but they even had a first class car, which was news to me until I got on the train). When you arrive in Moscow they sort of push you out on to this side street where of course, nobody speaks English, and the cab guys sort of look like cab guys, I mean they are saying the word “taxi” right?

I gotta say, I loved Mendoza and the Argentinian wine country, but these folks have some fantastic marketing people working for them because this place is simple. The weather isn’t considerably better than other places, it’s pretty but not even above average for a vacation spot, the town itself is pretty standard, and the wineries aren’t even close. I’m not sure what the draw is. I mean if you’re in the area sure, but this is no Napa Valley. It’s more like San Fernando valley with a ton of wineries an hour away. Don’t get me wrong, going from winery to winery is always a fun day, always, and I do love Malbecs, but you can have this experience in far better places.

Manila is bigger than you think for how poor it is. It is surprisingly spread out so staying somewhere “close” to anything is somewhat pointless. I wouldn’t say I felt safe on the streets at night, but I did find that there was security and police everywhere, so there is that.

Burgos street in Makati is fun people/women watching. They have some regular bars where you can sit on the patio and drink beers for 50 cents and watch the traffic go by. The other bars in the area try to get you to come in and watch a very strange spectacle of clothed women dancing on a stage, presumably waiting for you to grab them and buy them a drink. I visited one such bar called Ringside where they actually had a boxing ring, and every 30 minutes

Someone is gonna have to explain Macau to me. This is the center of gaming in Asai? This crazy hodgepodge of buildings without hardly any interesting city features? I know the Asians love to gamble, so I can definitely see why Macau would be the most profitable gaming area in the world (more people plus more of a propensity to play) but Vegas this is not. You can go to vegas and shop, and have a spa day, and luxury pool hop, and eat and drink at the best bars and restaurants in the world. You can go to an amusement park or a world class strip club. In Macau, you go to gamble, and maybe eat and sleep from time to time. Don’t get me wrong, the hotels are almost all fantastic, but all on the interiors. The town itself is extremely meh, I found it incredibly boring and disappointing, and I went twice! Fuck me!

Holy Shit. Flying out of Reagan can suck quite a bit if you get there at the wrong time…or with very little time. No valet like at Dulles (which is actually a lot more practical and less douchy than it sounds). Long lines can also be a bitch. Flying first class can remedy many of these problems but in this particular case, we went to the wrong line, a packed little side counter we thought would be more convenient. Guy walks up and asks if you’ve paid for your bags yet, you obviously say, “I have to pay even in first class?” right? Well this doesn’t sound so good when the line is packed with miserable people who are now thinking what a douchy mcdoucherson.

I was not in Lima long enough to truly judge it, but of course I will anyway! Miraflores is the neighborhood that is supposed to be the jam. I get it, hotels, restaurants, beaches, etc. It’s not half bad, but all of the development is like they were trying to develop America. I don’t get it. Aren’t there entrepreneurs in 3rd world countries? Even in the US developments go after independents to give their projects the right feel. Nobody, or at least not this guy, wants to go to another country just to go to a Starbucks. That’s ridiculous.

Iguazu falls are probably the most amazing natural wonder I will ever see. Maybe if I ever make it to Antarctica, or climb a really high mountain then I’ll change my mind, but these falls are truly unbelievable. That being said, they are a bitch.
First off, can’t we just make the falls a shared experience for the 3 fucking countries that they reside in. Going back and forth through customs and immigration from Brazil to Argentina is an exercise in government red tape like I have never seen it. It truly is insane. The thing is, you have to do both sides. Have to. They are each really cool in their own special way, whether it’s walking out farther than you thought possible on a roaring and giant river over metal catwalks to get a glimpse over the edge, or walking though cool shaded forest along the river seeing fall after fall, each side is not to be missed. But come on, make the falls a bullshit free zone.